The trend started slowly at first but has rapidly picked up speed of late. There was docile Fidel Castro...then supermodel Yasser Arafat...then the two 12 year olds that watch MTV that the executives were spending trillions of dollars trying to motivate to get to the polls...and about 4 million other pot-heads from the Serpent Party who very much hate Bush for his aggressive buzz-killing and drastic not-being-cool...and just Wednesday we found out about Poopie-Pants-Edwards' wife...
You guessed it. Global warming is poisoning the Serpent Party and it's supporters. Who next? The loveable Jack Sherack of Francie? Heartwarming Terry McAuliffe? Philanthopist Kim Jong-Il? President Bush is obviously more clever than anyone had realized. I suspect that it has been his plan since the beginning to prey on the weaker people of the Serpent Party. Realizing long ago that their carefree lifestyles of over-eating, lascivious meetings between supermodels, HIV, homosexuality, use of unnatural chemicals and binge-drinking made them weaker than the manlier remainer of the United States, Bush began promoting "oil" to pollute the air and "weed-out" the effeminate Serpent Party. His plan seems to be working beautifully. Also it doesn't hurt that he stopped the Kyoto Treaty that, by now, would have completely reversed the completely non-fictional encroachment of the gum disease known as GLOBAL WARMING.
In conclusion, I'd like to mention that this is a satire incase a liberal is reading it and that Global Warming doesn't exist incase a completely blind, retarded person is reading it. I'd also like to mention that it was hard to find a good picture of Chris Matthews. Go Bush!
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Damn! That means that CLinton who recovered well from his heart surgery must be some kind of super liberal. I mean he certainly is a shapeshifter who adeptly adopted conservative ideas as his own. I guess he regeneratetoo. Maybe he is the Paragon Democrat. Wait, I know! The surgery was a fake. He had his heart removed and it is being stored in a jar somewhere so that he will be invulnerable!
What we need is a rag tag team of miscreants who need an excuse to "disappear" and will agree to adventure in the Underdark to find a secret entrance to his lair...
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